Understanding Impulsivity
Imagine this…
It's the end of a long day and you feel annoyed about something or someone (or both). You are on your way home and you feel your level of frustration escalating and someone cuts you off. You reach a boiling point and simply blurt out how you feel rather than processing your emotions.
Afterwards you sigh and become more frustrated, but this time with yourself. You ask yourself, "What is going on here?" " Why do I keep doing this when I don't want to?"
Overall, this is something you do more than you'd like and you are becoming aware that these types of inadvertent comments could be affecting some of your relationships.
This is an example of acting impulsively. The ability to think before acting protects people from making choices that could potentially be harmful to them. When one is unable to manage their impulsive behaviors, it can negatively affect them and those around them.
Impulsivity — what is it?
Impulsivity is the tendency to “act on a whim” without considering the consequences of the actions. We have all had moments where we have acted without thinking, e.g. saying something in the “heat of the moment” that is regretted later.
Impulsivity becomes a problem when actions start to have serious or harmful consequences. While some of these consequences may not be visible right away, the impact remains. And when impulsive actions happen more frequently, and without the sense of control, there may be an issue that needs to be addressed.
The 5 Stages of Impulsivity
Below you will see an example of the 5 Stages of Impulsivity using an example of being at a train station:
Feeling an urge or impulse:
Example: Waiting for the train in rush hour and someone steps in front of you as the train pulls in.
Physiological arousal/tension in response to the urge:
Example: Increased energy, feeling hot, heart racing, irritability
Acting on impulse and feeling pleasure:
Example: Shouting at the person to move aside, making physical gestures (shaking head, rolling eyes) until person clears the way.
Feeling relief from the urge:
Example: Brief moment where your reaction payed off. Energy goes back down, palpitations stop and arousal goes down.
Feelings of guilt and regret by having lost control:
Example: Recognizing that the person did not intend to stand in your way, having created a scene and drawing attention to self, feeling frustrated by once again not being able to control the urge.
What challenges can come with impulsivity?
Impaired interpersonal relationships: Voicing unfiltered thoughts can hurt the feelings of those around you and create a great deal of stress in any relationship. In extreme cases it can lead to severing significant relationships.
Occupational challenges: Rash or aggressive behaviors can create problems at work and may hinder a promotion or lead to termination.
Problems with mood: Not being able to regulate your emotions and acting impulsively can create feelings of regret and negative self-evaluations, leading to feeling depressed and frustrated with yourself.
Poor decision-making: When one is responding from a place of impulsivity, rational steps they would have taken to problem-solve are diminished, hence the tendency to react in a more rash and self-destructive way is increased.
Substance abuse: Studies suggest that lack of impulse control can increase the chances of alcohol or substance abuse.
How can I help myself to behave less impulsively?
The first step to address impulsivity is to identify impulsive behaviors using self-monitoring techniques.
Check out the 'Tools' section of this page for more information and guided audio techniques to support you with this.
Tools
Self Monitoring
Recognize your emotional reactions:
Before making a decision you think might be harmful, ask yourself. “Is this something I am doing based on my emotions (for example, do you feel angry, nervous, anxious, euphoric, sad, etc)?”
If yes, recognize your emotions and consider the implications of your actions within the context of the emotion. Envision the scenario from this heightened emotional state. Allow yourself a day to respond from a more neutral emotional state.
Acknowledge your thoughts:
Learn to listen, but not react, to what your brain is telling you in the moment. If your first thought is, “I have to do this now”, see if you can hold off for 5 minutes and sit with the discomfort.
If 5 minutes seems unreasonable, perhaps consider the following, "I recognize that I am starting to feel like I must react/act on my impulse. For now, I will try to sit with the discomfort for 1 minute and see if i can manage that. If I can successfully hold off for 1 minute, I can try to do more.”
Know what triggers you:
Always have a plan. If you know specific situations will make you feel angry, try to prepare yourself so you are not in a vulnerable position. Have a buddy system for situations and moments you feel you have less control. Prepare yourself in rush hours that others may cut in front of you.
Managing the Impulse
The toughest part may be managing the impulse. It takes self awareness and recognition of the situation in order to change the impulsive behaviors.
Here are some tools to help create some distance between impulse and action:
Acting too quickly can cause a lot of challenges in day-to-day life, creating unnecessary stress and putting strains on meaningful relationships.
If you find yourself struggling with impulsivity and tend to act before you have had a chance to fully process how you are feeling, practice the exercises listed and reach out if you need help.
by Sahar Hussain, LMHC
Therapist