Anger Management Therapists: Your Path to Emotional Control
Clinically Reviewed by: Melanie Nimmo
Written by: Janelle Martel
Anger is something we all feel. It's a strong feeling of hostility or annoyance. We often feel this way about someone or something that we think has wronged us. Anger brings feelings of tension and frustration. It can also come with physiological changes, like an increased heart rate and adrenaline levels. Experiencing anger isn’t always a bad thing. In most cases, it can help you release negative feelings, advocate for yourself, and solve problems. But when anger becomes excessive, it can impact your daily life.
Unmanaged excessive anger can impact your relationships and hurt others. You might also experience feelings of guilt around your anger, or have said or done things that you regret. When anger is uncontrolled, the feelings and physical sensations that come with anger can be more intense. For example, you might experience increased levels of anxiety, stress, and irritability. You might also experience an increased heart rate or muscle tension. But a therapist can help you learn how to manage your anger better, helping to reduce your stress and better assert yourself.
Many individuals have noticed an increase in anger post-pandemic, and you might be one of them. In fact, APA’s 2021 Stress in America Survey stated that 39% of adults reported feeling angry due to the increased stress. In this article, we’ll discuss what an anger therapist does. We’ll also look at what anger therapy involves and the benefits of anger management therapy.
Understanding Anger: What it Really is
The American Psychological Association defines anger as “an emotion characterized by antagonism towards someone or something that you feel has deliberately done you wrong”. This feeling comes with physical changes. These include higher stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. You also see an increase in heart rate, breathing rate, and blood flow to the limbs. This is part of our body’s “fight, flight, or freeze” response. Anger can prepare your body to fight in a situation where it’s necessary for your survival. But this isn’t always physical. Anger can also help you to advocate for yourself and what you feel is right.
Different people might experience different types of anger, and you might even experience different types of anger depending on the situation. There are three main types of anger: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Here are some more details:
Passive: Passive anger means that the individual is expressing their anger indirectly. This is sometimes referred to as being passive-aggressive and might look like giving the silent treatment, making sarcastic remarks, and avoiding responsibility.
Aggressive: Aggressive anger is hostile. A person showing aggressive anger may threaten others, act violently, or break things.
Assertive: Assertive anger is a healthier way to express your anger. It involves communicating clearly while maintaining respect and working to form a solution.
Different things may also trigger anger in different people. Common triggers include:
Stress
Trauma
Relationship issues
Mental health issues, like depression, anxiety, or alcohol use disorder
Grief
Loneliness
As we’ve mentioned, anger can be helpful and productive. But chronic, long-term anger can impact your brain and body in a number of ways, including:
Increased anxiety and depression
Muscle tension, including headaches
High blood pressure
Insomnia
Digestive issues
Difficulty maintaining relationships
Research has also found that chronic anger and stress can affect specific areas of the brain. For example, the amygdala can become more reactive and even grow, which can make emotional regulation more difficult. The prefrontal cortex can decrease in size and activity, making impulse control and long-term planning more difficult.
When Does Anger Become a Problem?
Sometimes, it can be difficult to recognize the difference between appropriate levels of anger and excessive anger. Some signs that anger is becoming a problem include:
Frequent arguments or outbursts
Trouble at work or in relationships
Physical symptoms like a tight chest and muscle tension
Legal or disciplinary consequences
Feeling like you can’t control your anger
Friends and family members have commented on your anger
Check yourself: Do you feel that you have trouble controlling your anger? Does being angry cause you to say or do things that you regret? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then working with an anger management therapist may be helpful to you.
What Does an Anger Management Therapist Do?
An anger management therapist can help you understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger. They’ll also help you learn to identify your anger triggers and introduce you to anger management techniques to help you better regulate your emotions and reduce stress.
An anger management therapist is specially trained to work with people on managing their anger. This isn’t about suppressing your anger, but more about working through your anger more healthily. Your therapist might introduce you to skills like communication strategies and relaxation techniques. This can help reduce the stress and anxiety caused by anger. On the other hand, a mental health therapist takes a broader approach. While they can help you to manage your anger, it’s typically a part of your treatment plan rather than the main focus. For example, they may help you learn to manage anxiety symptoms that are causing your anger. Mental health therapists may also use a wider variety of therapy approaches.
Anger management therapists help people of all ages handle their anger. They support those who feel angry too often or struggle to control their emotions. They might also work with individuals who don’t deal with excessive anger but want to learn better emotional regulation skills. They can also work with families who are experiencing conflict or in the workplace to help improve professional relationships and help individuals in high-pressure environments manage overwhelming emotions. Individuals with mental health conditions, like anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), may also work with an anger management therapist to help learn better emotional regulation techniques.
Attending therapy for the first time can feel overwhelming, but it’s an important step towards helping you feel less stressed. Your first session might include talking about a recent situation where you felt angry and what thoughts went through your mind, how your body reacted, and how you responded. This helps your therapist understand your patterns and guide future sessions.
Top Therapeutic Approaches for Anger
Different therapeutic approaches might work better for different people. Common therapy approaches used in anger management therapy include:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Anger: CBT focuses on the relationship between feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. It involves breaking the anger-thought loop, meaning that you’ll identify and change the thought patterns that are leading to the feeling of anger. For example, you might work on shifting a thought like "they’re doing this on purpose" to "maybe they’re overwhelmed too," which can reduce the emotional intensity.
Mindfulness & Stress Reduction: Mindfulness can help you learn to be more present in the situation. With this awareness, you can use the skill of mindfulness as a control lever for the feeling of anger. A therapist might guide you to pause, take three deep breaths, and notice what’s happening in your body (e.g., clenched fists, racing heart) before reacting. This gives you space to choose a calmer response.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is a type of therapy that’s focused on managing intense emotions. You’ll learn skills to help with emotional regulation as well as interpersonal communication skills that can help you more clearly communicate with others. One skill used in DBT is “opposite action”. This means that if your anger urges you to yell or shut down, you’ll instead try speaking calmly or walking away. This can help shift the emotional intensity over time.
Group Therapy: Group therapy sessions can be a good way to feel supported by others when looking to manage your anger. Group members often role-play difficult situations, practice communication skills, and share personal experiences in a supportive setting, which helps them apply new techniques in real life.
Online vs. In-person Therapy: Pros & Cons
Research has shown that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy, so it’s a matter of personal preference whether you choose to attend therapy online or in person. Some people find that online therapy fits into their schedules better. It also doesn’t require a commute. Some people prefer meeting their therapist in person. The therapist’s office offers a neutral space to help them escape daily stresses and distractions.
Sometimes, online therapy can be more affordable, as therapists have lower overhead costs. You’ll also save on the cost of commuting.
How to Choose the Right Anger Management Therapist
Choosing an experienced anger management therapist whom you feel comfortable with can help ensure that you get the best treatment outcomes. When choosing an anger management therapist, you’ll want to ensure that they are credentialed. This includes a licensed professional counselor (LPC), licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), or psychologist. During your consultation or your first meeting with your therapist, you might want to ask:
What experience do you have working with individuals with anger issues?
What approaches to therapy and methods do you use?
What other conditions do you work with?
If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist or feel like you have trouble communicating with them, then they might not be the best fit for you.
What Success Looks Like: Real Outcomes
Long-term benefits of anger management therapy include:
Better relationships
Less stress
Improved mental and physical health
Emotional intelligence and assertiveness
Improved communication skills
Next Steps: Your Path to Emotional Control
Feeling out of control with your anger can be stressful. But you don’t have to feel that way. Find a Therapist Near You to get started learning how to deal with your anger in a more positive way.
You might have also noticed that a loved one is showing excessive anger towards you, other people, or themselves. If this is the case, consider saving this post to share with them.