Ask Octave: In a Virtual Workplace, How Can I Get a Sense of Connection?
Photo by Christina via Unsplash
Q: I started a new job this year and I’m finding it difficult to connect with people since we’re all working virtually. Pre-pandemic, I really enjoyed office friendships and networking, and now I worry that my career will stagnate. What can I do to connect more at work?
Until lockdown hit, I hadn’t fully realized how much I valued regularly connecting with my co-workers, both on a personal and a professional level. Working from home certainly has its advantages, but opinions on the benefits versus drawbacks vary greatly depending on whom you talk to. There is a great deal of ambivalence, but one thing is clear: networking, collaborating, and socializing has changed drastically.
We spend such a significant amount of time at our jobs – on average, a third of our lives – so of course, they impact our overall happiness. Many of us have been struggling for the past two years with feelings of isolation and reduced motivation at work, as well as anxiety about our careers stalling without regular, high-quality interaction.
Studies have shown that casual, spontaneous encounters – the “watercooler moments,” chats over lunch or in the elevator – foster innovation and creativity. Social and professional encounters are not mutually exclusive, but they can feel that way when we see our co-workers in online meetings whose purposes are prescribed, and during which some people may not even have their cameras on, or are subtly – or not so subtly – multitasking.
It’s understandable to be worried about your career trajectory during this time, but you are not alone. Most of our work lives have been affected in one way or another by the pandemic and the unstable economy, even if we’ve stopped talking about it. Regardless of how the pandemic continues to play out, many of the changes are here to stay, including virtual work. Companies will need to adapt and support employee connection, employees may have to be proactive in fostering connection while being creative and open to new ideas. The occasional Zoom happy hour only goes so far!
“Most of our work lives have been affected in one way or another by the pandemic and the unstable economy, even if we’ve stopped talking about it. ”
Here are some suggestions to increase communication and connection at work. If you’re not in a supervisory or management position, you might feel hesitant, especially at a relatively new job, but you’re not the only one in your workplace who feels disconnected and anxious about career progress.
Stay connected in informal ways.
Interactions shouldn’t just be limited to meetings, which can be dictated by a tight agenda and time-constrained; more spontaneous conversation can help build trust and openness among your team. Make good use of business communication platforms. If your company uses Slack, Microsoft Teams, or another messaging app, start some threads that are both socially and professionally connecting and uplifting.
Welcome going off-script.
Many of our informal moments at work have vanished – banter before and after meetings is more challenging. Opening meetings with either a check-in question or a weekend recap can foster a sense of community – research shows that these “off-script” moments foster the creative process by forming relationships with people outside of your normal sphere.
Create more opportunities to read non-verbal cues.
Psychologists have confirmed that body language and visual cues influence our understanding of someone’s tone of voice and attitude. To build connection, you have to be able to see people and interpret their body language and facial expressions – keeping your camera on in meetings instead of resorting to phone calls or a cameras-off habit, is essential for building a sense of connection.
Schedule some fun.
In psychology, fun is defined as the intersection of playfulness, connection, and flow – we often misuse the term “fun” as anything we fill our free time with. But research shows that when we have actual fun, we are more focused and present, free from anxiety and self-criticism.
Try scheduling coffee dates during what used to be commute times, or sharing a recipe with team members every Monday. At the beginning of the pandemic, we were all much more intentional about scheduling time together, and as time has gone on, some of these habits have faded, but I encourage you to bring them back.
Socialize offline safely.
Unfortunately, there really is no substitute for in-person interactions, where you can more easily read non-verbal cues, focus on your interaction, and share an experience. With the right safety precautions, you might want to schedule some one-on-one or small-group meetups with clients and work colleagues. Play a round of golf, grab coffee at the park,, or take small meetings while walking outdoors – walking has been shown to enhance creative thinking and improve cognitive function!
Explore non-work interests.
If, through any of these interactions, you discover non-work interests that you share with colleagues, you may be able to engage with those interests in in-person or online. Whether it’s sharing a love of needlepoint or starting a company book club, look for opportunities to grow a deeper connection through that.
In the meantime, make sure you’re connecting with others outside of your professional network and taking some time for yourself every day. We all care a great deal about our careers but remember that we are multifaceted, and that building a life that feels fulfilling and meaningful involves tending to other life domains, as well. Maybe you need to increase your contact with friends and family to help fill the gaps in your social life that virtual work has created.
Try to get outside every day, if possible, even for just a short while, and to engage in some kind of exercise that you enjoy. Find ways to be creative, maybe even trying something new, such as taking an art class or exploring a new hobby. Opportunities to volunteer may be fewer during the pandemic, but contributing to a cause you care about has been shown to increase feelings of well-being. These activities all reduce overall stress levels, and when we’re less chronically stressed, we tend to perform better in every domain of life.
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The information and resources contained on this website are for educational and informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any mental health condition. Participation in "Ask Octave" does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. The information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough mental health evaluation by a licensed professional.