Social Media is Distracting – and That Can Be a Good Thing
Photo by Annie Spratt via Unsplash
We’ve all heard that social media is bad for us – whether it’s doomscrolling, seeking external validation, creating unrealistic expectations for our lives, or simply too much screen time.
Research overwhelmingly supports this too: It highlights the negative effects of social media on mental health with direct links to increased anxiety and depression, decreased direct connection with family and friends, feelings of jealousy due to comparing oneself to others and neglecting self-care.
With all this backlash, it sure looks like social media is our enemy… but what if it also can be an unlikely hero?
In a time of unexpected change, when society is dealing with an isolating pandemic and economic hardships, where confusion, fear and anxiety are our dominant emotions, social media helps us cope with the ever-changing state of the world. It allows us to stay connected to the ones we love from one end of the world to the other, it helps us find joy discovering new hobbies and interests (thank you Tik Tok dances and that Peloton bike!), and it offers us moments of reprieve through humor, normalizing the lingering daily stressors through memes and trends.
In so many ways, social media has actually been beneficial for those struggling with mental illness. It has shown to improve feelings of group belonging and connectedness because people are able to share their personal stories and learn from each other the multitude of ways to cope with the day-to-day challenges of living with a mental illness.
This sense of community is why we all joined social media to begin with, and one of the more obvious benefits of being on the platforms. But there’s another reason that I sometimes encourage the use of social media: It can be a tool for healthy dissociation.
With my clients, I encourage the use of social media as an intentional distraction when their bodies are overwhelmed, their minds are racing, and they need a way to take a break from their emotions. It allows the body to get out of fight-or-flight and settle back into a more relaxed and regulated space. Once this happens, clients are better able to work through their emotions in a more deliberate, thoughtful, and engaged way.
An intentional distraction can be thought of as a form of healthy dissociation. There are two different dissociative states known as flow states and zone states. Flow states allow us to engage in personally meaningful experiences in a deeper way; whereas zone states allow us to engage in meaningless activities that can still be helpful when we need a break from daily stressors. If we can view social media as a healthy dissociation, we can certainly see the value it can potentially add to one’s life.
Finding the Balance
The key, of course, is to use social media in moderation. Here are some ways to make sure it plays a healthier role in your life:
Be intentional about your use.
Ensure you are present and intentional with the content that you are consuming on social media. Use it to expand your social networks, to stay connected with current people in your life, to gain new knowledge or a skill, or simply use it to have a little fun. Just be sure you know exactly why you are getting on it, instead of passively scrolling for hours.
Prioritize time for real life experiences and people.
It can be easy to get carried away in the world of social media, daydreaming about vacations, liking family and friend’s posts, but nothing replaces real life experiences. Set dates to connect in person and plan events outside of your home. Use timers on your electronics to limit your use to less than an hour each day and practice putting your phone away when you are spending time with family and friends IRL.
Find inspiration, not comparison.
Comparing yourself to people on social media can lead to a downward spiral of self criticism and the “not good enough” syndrome we all know so well. We need to remember that what is presented on social media is only a snippet of people’s lives. Redirect your focus to finding inspiration in the things you are looking at on social media to reach your goals, or use it as a way to inspire resilience through challenging times. I like to make a regular habit of reassessing my feeds by unfollowing anyone that is causing you distress.
Studies have shown that we can create emotional contagion with the things that we share. Whenever you find something that brings you feelings of joy, makes you think of someone you care about, or you see something that moves you, consider sharing these things on social media. By doing so, not only do you experience the positive emotions, but the receiving party does as well – it’s a win-win!
Focus on your strengths, not your likes and views.
First, it is important to know you are worthy no matter what. There are no contingencies or conditions to your self-worth. No amount of likes, views, or follows will change your worthiness. To encourage self compassion, make it a regular practice to validate and make space for any negative thoughts and feelings that do show up, but also make it a regular practice to acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments instead of relying on external validation, especially from social media.
Take a break anytime – it will still be there.
Like anything else, too much of something can create problems in our lives. If you find that social media keeps you in a downward spiral of negative emotions or keeps you from fully engaging your life, this might be a sign that you need to delete those apps from your phone and take a break. For some, a break allows you to move away from the tunnel vision that social media can sometimes create. You can always decide to return to it later, or maybe you decide it just isn’t the right coping skill for you and that’s ok.