Ask Octave: I Can’t Find A Job After Graduation. How Do I Stay Motivated?
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Q: I graduated from college a year ago and have been struggling to land my first full-time job. I did everything right in school; went to a competitive college and worked a few internships, but now I’m working an hourly gig and picking up low-paying projects on the side. I’m starting to feel like a failure, and my family keeps asking about my career plans. How do I stay motivated?
School is often a linear journey – you go to class, study, take tests, and repeat year after year until you graduate. Once you leave the school environment, your options and opportunities really open up, and while that lack of structure can be liberating, it can also be daunting.
There’s a rollercoaster of emotions and life pressures that arise as we are beginning our careers. Some of what we expected from our lives may not pan out immediately, like getting a job in our chosen industry or landing a full-time role and if that’s the case, you’re not alone – research shows that only 50% of graduates have a full-time job within 6 months of graduation.
Just because you’re in good company, it doesn’t make things any easier. Self, family, and societal pressure can be overwhelming, so it’s important to develop coping mechanisms. Even though we may not be where we intended to be, we can shift our mindset to make it easier on ourselves.
As a therapist, I often see clients who have been trying to find their voice during this transitional period. They tell me the hardest part is feeling like they are in limbo, which can increase feelings of anxiety. Processing the emotions that come when we are in a state of limbo can give the greatest relief. Here are a few ways I guide clients through this time of transition:
Challenge Your Outlook
To keep the momentum going, it’s key to remember you are not defined by your timeline or thoughts of failure. Your current situation is not your endgame but merely a rest stop.
One way to decrease negative self-talk is to remember everything you have accomplished thus far like graduating college, conquering difficult courses, and landing internships. Remind yourself that life is not about comparing yourself to others – everyone is on their own journey with their own timeline. So if your friends are already working their first full-time job, it’s not that they’re better than you or smarter than you; they’re just on a different timeline. Your time will come, too.
Lean on Your Support
One of the biggest mistakes you can make during an adjustment period like this is isolating yourself. Isolation is easy to resort to when you’re feeling unmotivated and unworthy. But I recommend you talk to people who you trust the most: your friends, family, therapist, and mentors who can remind you what you’re capable of and relieve the stress and anxiety of the future.
Take a Break
When you are in the process of applying for jobs, make sure you take breaks because it can get overwhelming. Instead of looking at what you have to do for the week, break it down to what you can do that day. Looking at a week's worth of work can provoke a lot of anxiety in what’s known as “future-tripping.”. Future-tripping is when we are so focused on what we have to accomplish in the future that we are unable to redirect ourselves to the present moment.
An example of staying in the present would be to make a short list when you wake up in the morning for that specific day. In between accomplishing your goals throughout the day, make sure that you do something that brings you joy or relaxes you – like playing music, coloring, going for a walk, sitting in the sun, calling a friend. This can increase your motivation but help you find your purpose and drive.
Find Your Purpose
Identifying what your purpose is and finding your drive will help you not lose sight of your ambition when there is a bump in the road. This can entail value mapping, a common practice in therapy, that allows you to be more intentional about life choices. A lot of times we put pressure on ourselves to accomplish our goals by a certain time frame, which can make us feel defeated. But value mapping’s goal is to guide us in the desired direction. As we start looking inward and finding what drives us it can help us find our inner strengths. Finding your inner strength as time goes on can help you shift your mindset from 'becoming a failure' to 'doing the best I can with the hand I'm dealt.'
Set Boundaries
Our families typically want what's best for us, but sometimes their questions can create more pressure. Having a conversation about boundaries can help your family understand where you are in your journey.
Start by clearly stating your plans and the timeline you’ve developed for yourself in your job hunt. Reiterate what aspects of job hunting are most challenging for you and remind them that you’re doing your best given the circumstances – the more communication, the better.
Trust in your process and know that there are certain situations that are out of your control. Regardless of how much your loved ones and peers understand your journey, remember that it is yours at the end of the day, and you get to define success however you want.
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The information and resources contained on this website are for educational and informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any mental health condition. Participation in "Ask Octave" does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. The information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough mental health evaluation by a licensed professional.