How To Prepare For Therapy
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
Imagine this…
You’ve been contemplating starting therapy for weeks, maybe even months, or years. After some effort, you followed through and were booked for your first session. You made the initial contact and completed the first step. This is one of the hardest parts and notably, the only one you have to do entirely on your own. It actually wasn’t so bad… you talked to a person you didn’t know about what is challenging for you right now, and that’s kind of like what happens in therapy, right? Great work...
Now you just have to show up for the first session.
What does it mean to 'show up' for the first session?
You may be feeling a bit anxious about your first session because this is unfamiliar territory. That’s entirely normal. New place, new people, a new type of conversation, it makes sense that all of these unknowns would be cause for stress and anxiety.
There’s no secret step-by-step guide to this process, but hopefully the information below will address some of the unknowns and give you a little insight into what to expect when you first begin.
What are you hoping to get from this experience? Are you trying to explore why you’ve been feeling anxious? Are you looking to develop skills to manage your depression? Do you just need someone other than family and friends to talk to and process with?
These types of thoughts will help guide your therapist. It’s also okay if you aren’t fully clear on these goals or what you’re hoping to get from the experience — that can all be part of the process.
It’s also helpful to remember that what you say is confidential. There are only a few situations in which this confidentially would be compromised. Your therapist will go over this during the first session, but know that the underlying priority is your safety.
What is the therapist thinking about me?
When a therapist gets ready to meet a new patient, they look at the first three sessions as your intake sessions. This is the time where your therapist will get to know you and you will get to know them.
Your therapist will do this by asking a lot of questions, many of which will be exploratory and open-ended. They know that beginning to work with a therapist can be stressful, so don’t feel pressure to respond in a certain way — there is no right or wrong answer, and it’s okay to say you don’t know.
They also understand that it may feel a bit awkward or uncomfortable at first. Your therapist will look to put you at ease, especially as you start to meet more regularly.
Fit is something that therapists understand to be really important between them and their clients, and something that is mutually determined. With that in mind, they know it is common for new patients to ask questions about their education, specialties, method of therapy and what they think they can do for you as you share your story.
What if…?
I don’t know what to talk about.
It’s okay not to know what to discuss right off the bat — your therapist can help you figure this part out. It may be helpful to think about what prompted you to reach out and let things unfold from there.
Help, this just doesn’t feel like the right fit.
No problem! Finding the right therapist can be challenging. If you feel comfortable, bring up your concerns with your therapist at your next session. It’s likely they are noticing that something’s going on, too.
I don’t think therapy is for me.
Bring this up with your therapist. It’s helpful to have a collaborative approach and explore why you feel therapy isn’t for you. Your therapist may also be able to connect you with other more appropriate services.
This schedule just isn’t working.
Again, it’s probably best to address this directly with your therapist. They’ll try their best to be flexible and work with you, but some flexibility will be necessary on your end as well.
How long will it take to know if this is the right fit?
After the first few sessions, it’s likely you aren’t going to feel you’ve made a major breakthrough or fully addressed what brought you here in the first place. But you should feel something.
Give yourself time to settle into this new self-care practice. Everyone experiences therapy differently, but with patience and effort, you’ll eventually reap the benefits of your investment. And if something feels off, feel empowered to speak up about it.
by Kelli Morin, LMSW
Clinical Matching Specialist, Midtown Manhattan