How to Actually Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions
Photo by Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash
New year’s resolutions are great, in theory. They can set the tone for the year, building excitement for what’s ahead and how exactly we’ll find fulfillment.
Then comes the reality: Only 8% of people achieve their New Year's resolutions. Life is busy and demanding, with so many competing priorities. So if you want to truly accomplish your resolutions this coming year, it’s important to be intentional, realistic, and focused on the right motivations. I’ve developed five strategies for creating New Year’s resolutions that are actually achievable.
Embrace simplicity.
Not simple: “I’m going to start a company!”
Simple: “I’m going to explore career options that allow me more autonomy.”
Your resolutions don’t need to be inventive and grand; they can be as simple as continuing a habit you’ve already developed. Perhaps you’ve discovered a love for pottery, and you’ve stuck to a schedule of going to the studio weekly. Your resolution can be to maintain your diligence in your studio schedule.
It’s so common for people to set resolutions that are overly ambitious and put too much pressure on themselves. Creating resolutions that are manageable given all that you are trying to balance is a great way to actually accomplish them.
Be hyper-specific.
Not specific: “I’m going to fall in love!”
Specific: “I’m going to swipe right on at least 1 person per week.”
One of the most common mistakes with resolutions is that they’re too general. Monumental, year-long goals are hard to achieve. When we make the intention hyper-specific and incorporate daily changes, we’re more likely to follow through.
Take the dream of running a marathon. While that’s a really exciting event to look forward to, the event itself is too big. Instead of just stating that you want to run a marathon, break it down: Maybe your resolution is to create a realistic training schedule that will build you up to the mileage required to run a marathon. This is definitive, time-bound, and measurable.
Create accountability.
Not accountable: “I’m going to ride 10 miles per week on my home bike!”
Accountable: “I’m going on a 10-mile bike ride every week with my friend.”
I find that one of the most useful ways to accomplish your resolution is to seek external accountability. It's easier to bail on a goal when the only person holding you accountable is yourself. It's harder to give up when there are other people involved. As a therapist, this is a role I play for my clients – friends, partners, and loved ones can also cheer you on and encourage you to stay motivated.
Focus on intrinsic motivation.
Not intrinsic: “I want a raise at work!”
Intrinsic: “I want to be in a job where I feel motivated and valued.”
Intrinsic motivations are actions that are driven by internal rewards like choosing to play volleyball because you enjoy it and it gives you an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, are actions that are driven by external rewards – like getting paid to do your job or the approval of your boss.
If your resolution is centered on the internal satisfaction you feel from working towards it, you will be more likely to maintain the change since you’re feeling a sense of fulfillment. Focus on goals that resonate with what you value. Ask yourself: What makes these values important to me and how do my resolutions align with my values? By asking yourself these questions, you are able to set resolutions that are personally relevant and not on what you think other people want to see you do.
Enjoy the journey, not the destination.
Not about the journey: “I’m going to quit smoking!”
About the journey: “I want to improve my health so I can play with my kids without getting winded so easily.”
Part of the reason so few people successfully accomplish their resolutions is because they’re wrapped up in the wrong part. I’ve found that focusing on the journey, or all the little steps and details that go into reaching your final destination, to be really helpful in creating the resolution. When you envision yourself doing the work and the process of change you will ultimately accomplish, rather than only imagining yourself at the finish line, your resolutions shape up to be more realistic.
The journey is meant to be enjoyable. Resolutions are a way for us to explore and embrace different parts of ourselves. Remember to reflect on whether or not you are enjoying what you’ve set out to do, and if you aren’t, it’s ok to revamp your resolutions to align with activities you enjoy.